Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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