small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize