At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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