I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
