Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
