i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
