i would punch a child for taco bell
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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