Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
