Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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