I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
