everyone is single if you try hard enough
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
