Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
