come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
