Pappa wants mamma naked
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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