we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
