I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
