yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
