i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
please come you make the beer taste better
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Let the clothes fall where they may.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize