The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
