Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
