Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
