doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
