Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
