remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize