anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
