There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
