That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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