a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i think im in europe. pls send help
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
