Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
