Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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