3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
