just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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