so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
