I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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