Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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