Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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