Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
