I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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