come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
jump out the window naked night went bad
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
