he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
