just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
