never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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