True but thats because hes a fetus.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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