I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
