I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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