Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
