Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
