He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
