Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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