Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
