Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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