It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
