He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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