if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
