Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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