He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
