I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
