Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There's always time for handjobs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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