I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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