Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
